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Mourning in the digital age

a woman is sitting on the floor looking at her cell phone .

The digital age has changed the ways we mourn. What was once an obituary just in the newspaper can now be found on a funeral home website or Facebook, too. There are online communities that can provide a safe space for people in their time of need. Friends and family on the other side of the world can be in (virtual) attendance of a funeral or memorial ceremony as it happens. These ways of collectively mourning from afar were exemplified in 2020 with the COVID-19 pandemic when travel and gathering restrictions were in place for most of the year. While we may be tired of Zoom calls and gathering virtually after the year we’ve had, it is nice to have that option if all else fails.

One way we can conveniently get together to celebrate the life of a loved one who has passed is by live streaming funeral and memorial services. It could be distance, health problems, time conflicts, or financial constraints keeping someone from attending a ceremony, but they can still feel as though they are part of the event if they can tune in on their own device at home. With our advanced technology, someone could even deliver a eulogy to a group that has gathered in a chapel from their computer at home. This luxury was difficult to fathom just two decades ago, but now it is widely used and available.

We can also celebrate someone’s life online via online obituaries and social media. On these platforms, which could be Facebook, the funeral home website, or something else, friends and family can share photos and favorite memories of their loved one with dozens, even hundreds of others who also knew them. Sparking these conversations and threads of stories and photos can help everyone remember the life of someone they have lost, which can, in turn, help with the grieving process.

There is also a plethora of online communities that deal with loss, mourning, and grief. Whether it be a Facebook group or an online blog, there are spaces online in which people can connect over their shared experiences. Grief Healing Blog is a website where you can find resources and articles about the grieving process, ranging from coping with a terminal diagnosis to dealing with the loss of a beloved pet. Marty Tousley, the woman who runs the blog, was a bereavement counselor for nearly two decades, has experienced several losses herself, and has lots of experience with the topic of grief. The wide variety of information found on her website can assist you after a loss, no matter what kind of loss it was.

The Facebook group called Grief Speaks Out was created by Jan Warner after her husband died and has grown to a network of 2.4 million people. The people in this group share quotes, memories of their loved ones, and inspirational content with other people who have lost someone close to them. The community is full of supportive people who want to help one another. We are more connected than ever before, and the connectedness we enjoy is thanks to the digital age. The technology we get to use today can help us feel less alone and more supported after experiencing a loss.

03 Sep, 2024
Grief in the Classroom: How Educators Can Support Grieving Students Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience that can affect anyone, including students. When a student is grieving, the impact can be far-reaching, influencing not only their emotional well-being but also their academic performance, social interactions, and overall sense of security. As educators, it is crucial to recognize the signs of grief and to provide a supportive environment where students can navigate their emotions in a healthy way. Understanding Grief in Students Grief can stem from various sources—loss of a family member, friend, pet, or even the upheaval of a major life change like divorce or relocation. Each student will process grief differently based on their age, personality, and the nature of the loss. Common emotional reactions include sadness, anger, confusion, anxiety, and even guilt. Physically, students might experience fatigue, headaches, or changes in appetite. Academically, grief can lead to difficulty concentrating, a decline in grades, or a lack of interest in school activities. Grieving students might also exhibit behavioral changes such as withdrawal from social interactions, irritability, or increased dependency on adults. Understanding these varied responses is the first step in providing the appropriate support. Creating a Supportive Classroom Environment Foster Open Communication Encourage students to express their feelings by creating a safe, non-judgmental environment. Let them know it's okay to feel sad or confused and that they can talk to you or another trusted adult whenever they need to. Use age-appropriate language to discuss grief and loss openly, which can help normalize these experiences. Offer Flexibility Grieving students may need time to process their emotions, which can make it challenging to meet deadlines or stay focused on assignments. Provide flexibility with homework, tests, and participation. Offer extensions or alternative assignments that are less demanding. This flexibility can ease the pressure on the student while allowing them to stay engaged in their education at their own pace. Incorporate Grief Resources Introduce grief-related books, activities, or discussions in the classroom that are appropriate for the age group. This can help students who are grieving feel understood and supported. It can also educate their peers about empathy and the impact of loss, fostering a more compassionate classroom community. Be Mindful of Triggers Certain activities, holidays, or topics may act as triggers for grieving students. Be sensitive to these potential triggers and offer alternatives or modifications when necessary. For example, if a class project involves creating a family tree, provide an option that allows the student to participate without causing distress. Encourage Peer Support Encourage students to support their grieving peers in positive ways. This could involve creating a buddy system, where a classmate checks in with the grieving student, or facilitating group activities that promote teamwork and empathy. Peer support can be incredibly powerful in helping students feel less alone in their grief. Maintain Routine with Compassion While it's important to be flexible, maintaining a routine can provide grieving students with a sense of normalcy and stability during a turbulent time. However, this should be balanced with compassion—understanding that the student may need to step away or take breaks when emotions become overwhelming. Grief is a challenging journey for anyone, but it can be particularly difficult for students who are still developing emotionally and cognitively. As educators, you play a pivotal role in supporting grieving students by creating a compassionate and flexible environment that acknowledges their pain while encouraging their continued growth. By fostering open communication, offering flexibility, and collaborating with school counselors, you can help grieving students navigate their emotions and find a sense of normalcy in the classroom. Your support can make a significant difference in their ability to cope with loss and continue their educational journey.
01 Sep, 2024
TED Talks about death and grief The subjects of loss and grief are worthy of deep discussion. As thinking, feeling beings, we’re aware of the inevitability of losing something or somebody we love. But internalizing that knowledge and really accepting that grief will be a part of our lives is a challenge. Thinking about the end of our own lives is an even greater challenge. Rather than write about these subjects this week, we’d like to share with you some TED Talk videos that have inspired us to think about death and loss in new ways and begin to understand the necessity of grieving. We hope you find inspiration here, too. Peter Saul - Let’s talk about dying Saul makes a fantastic case for thinking about, discussing, and taking ownership of the end of your life. As an intensive-care doctor who has witnessed the last moments of hundreds of patients, his message urges us to “occupy death,” and make the tough decisions about where and how we want to die. Dr. Geoff Warburton - The Adventure of grief Warburton, a psychologist and author, speaks to the idea that feelings of grief can be embraced as part of the adventure of living. He insists that our deepest, darkest emotions must be felt deeply in order to access the full range of emotions that make life worth living. Amanda Bennett - We need a heroic narrative for death By recounting the story of her husband’s death, Bennett explains how humans can reach a point of unwavering hope – which can also be considered denial – when a loved one is ill. Because death is so often seen as defeat, she makes a case for lifting up death as heroic and reflective of the glory and beauty of life. Alison Killing - There’s a better way to die, and architecture can help “Where we die is a key part of how we die.” Alison Killing approaches the subject of death from a unique perspective, examining the locations and buildings that play a part in how we experience the end of our lives. Kelli Swazey - Life that doesn’t end with death Anthropologist Swazey speaks about the culture of Tana Toraja, where the death of a loved one is a social experience involving celebration and rituals that develop over time. Under such circumstances, death becomes a part of the human story, and it can be considered beautiful.
19 Aug, 2024
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A man and a woman are sitting at a table with a laptop and a tablet.
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